25 Eyebrow Lifts
by Andalusia25
Summary: 25 drabbles of Spock being Spock among the mostly human crew.


**25 Eyebrow Lifts **

**Or the 25 Times Spock Would Have Said "WTF?!" If He Wasn't a Vulcan. Well, maybe not WTF, but its Spock being Spock among the mostly human crew.**

**Just for fun!**

"Jim, I do not believe that yelling out about male bovine feces is appropriate nor is it relevant when speaking with the Admiralty."

"Dr. McCoy, while I appreciate your skill as a physician, could you have waited until he had answered my question before giving him the hypo full of sedatives? Of course they were relevant and perfectly logical questions."

"Lieutenant Sulu, I do not understand your need to shake your hand in the air, count to three and make strange hand signals with Mr. Chekov for you to decide who will be the one to clean your shared bathroom."

"Mr. Chekov, I do not believe that arguing with Mr. Sulu about such trivial issues such as who invented more items: Russia or Japan is not relevant in the middle of a phaser fire exchange."

"Nyota, Vulcans do not use the phrase 'yes, dear'. And seeing as how I am half Vulcan, I refuse to use it."

"Mr. Scot, I have noticed that you are uncomfortable when Lt. Uhura and I have close contact while in Captain Kirk's presence. I do not mean to interrupt any of your courtship rituals between you and the captain."*

"Are you sure that Nyota will want me to bring her dying foliage and objects that show no relevance to the anatomy of the human heart on this day, Gaila?"

"Was it absolutely necessary to act in such a manner while screaming that I had touched your direct person in a sexual way infront of the whole Yendak Counsel, Jim?"

"Dr. McCoy I do not understand why you waste such colorful adjective usage on me, surely you could share that with the rest of the crew as well."

"I assure you that when the ambassador told you were great with child he was not calling you obese, Nyota."

"Mr. Sulu, the captain was telling me that you play 'footsie' with Chekov. I was wondering if you could teach me this Terran game. I am always looking to expand my exercise routine."

"Mr. Scot in the time that you have spent arguing your plan of action, you could have fixed the problem twice now. I believe I understand the origin of your 'miracles'."

"Mr. Chekov, if am quite aware of whom you are trying to attempt courtship, I believe another plan of attack would be advisable."

"Gaila just because you and I are both green, though you more than I, does not infer that you and I should be 'tight'."

"You are the doctor, McCoy; I am just the science officer."

"Jim, 'puppy-dog eyes' are not a required trait of a Star Fleet captain."

"Of course, Mr. Sulu, and the external inertial dampener has such a small button on your consol as well. I understand how they can be overlooked."

"No, I am not engaging in any sexual acts in the captain's chair no matter how empty the bridge may be at any given time, Nyota, nor will I order the bridge to be evacuated unnecessarily."

"Jim, while I value our friendship, if you ask to join in cotius with Nyota and myself one more time you may wake up on Delta Vega."

"McCoy, I think I am finally beginning to understand the saying 'sitting on the front steps with a out-of-date Terran shotgun' the more males that are attracted to my daughter."

"Mr. Chekov running thru the decks clad in only your standard issue underwear is unbecoming of an officer. I do not think any concessions are made for having to run from jealous men in the locker room."

"Jim, in my observation of humans they do not choose who they fall in love with, so if you love Dr. McCoy that much, I suggest you tell him, now. The tension between you two is enough to distract even the most disciplined Vulcan mind."

"Sulu, your rapier has lost its novelty, please put it away."

"Dr. McCoy I was not aware that pregnancy gave human females the strength of three grown Vulcan men. I will not offer my hand to Nyota any longer whilst in labor."

"Nyota, you misconstrued the meaning behind my words. I did not imply that you have gained weight. Please allow me back into our quarters; I do not prefer to stand in the hallway in just my underwear even if it is Delta shift."

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**This was just another lighthearted side of the starship Enterprise. Let me know what you think!**

***this is an add on from where Scotty gives Spock, Kirk and Uhura that funny look in the movie**


End file.
